How to use your hands while giving a Blow Job
If you search the web for “how to give a blowjob” you’ll find a lot of really bad advice. Much of this advice is geared to girls who have never given head before and want to learn how to do it. So let’s get something straight… MY guide is not for first-timers, but for women who want to be serious blowjob experts. Great sexual performance ability is power, and power over your man is what you will gain by learning these techniques.
One of the most common pieces of advice given about how to give a blowjob is to “grasp the penis firmly at the base from start to finish”. Presumably this makes it easier to control how deep it can go into your mouth and keep you from gagging. This is all about making it easier for you, not making it more pleasurable for him. Believe me, he doesn’t want to feel your “firm grasp”, he wants to feel your steaming-hot and slippery mouth, and you don’t want these two sensations competing. So, as quickly as possible, you should try to move pass the stage where you are trying to make giving a blowjob easy and instead focus on making it a spectacular experience – for both of you!
The second most common use of your hands during fellatio is to use one (or both) hands to create pressure. This is great advice and an essential part of your repertoire of blowjob skills. Make an “O” with your thumb and forefinger, and use it in conjunction with your mouth to provide pressure and friction along the shaft of his penis, especially his frenulum. This technique, along with the other techniques around sound, visuals, etc described throughout my guide, is the surest and easiest way to bring most men to a quick orgasm, and is well-described in many blowjob guides. But, bringing your man to a quick orgasm is ultimately not the goal for those girls like myself who are interested in becoming true blowjob queens.
So are these two hand techniques all you need to know? Obviously not! First of all, you don’t want to do anything too repetitive, especially day after day, or your oral sex technique will become boring. (You need a large variety of techniques that will keep him interested in you, year after year.) Using your hand to add pressure is a technique you should only use towards the end, once your mouth is getting tired, or if you’re new to blowjobs and haven’t yet built up a lot of stamina and strength with your lips and tongue. (This has the additional benefit of making him cum faster by building the pressure gradually and thus continually increasing his pleasure!) And, grasping the base of the penis from start to finish is for women who need to feel more control and to prevent his cock from penetrating too deeply. Both of these reasons are also for inexperienced and/or fearful givers of fellatio.
There are many more exotic and erotic ways to use your hands that I’ll describe in explicit detail below, along with exactly how to truly MASTER the “O” technique just described, so that it works for ANY man regardless of what he likes. You will learn much more than he does about what he likes and truly be able to rock his world. These hand skills will turn your man on so much he’ll forget all about the other girls he used to date! If you’d like to go far beyond the basics and be confident that you can impress ANY man with your mad BJ skills, because you’ll know more than 99.9% of women out there (as well as much more than your man knows himself) then read on sister…
First of all, let’s become aware of what our man is focusing on, before deciding what to do with our hands. Is he watching your every move? If so, he’s very visually excited, and you’ll want to focus on doing things with your hands that excite his eyes. Or, if his eyes are generally closed during sex, then he’s going to be more attuned to what he’s feeling and hearing. So you’ll want to spend more time using your hands touching him.
Play with that Pussy!
This technique will please any man, regardless of whether he’s more visual, auditory, or tactile oriented. So this is the VERY BEST thing you can do with your hands (or one hand) while giving a blowjob. Giving yourself pleasure will:
Turn him on beyond belief.
Make the blowjob experience more fun for you (always a plus.)
It will hopefully cause you to make sexy moaning sounds of pleasure that will heighten his pleasure too. It should also get your body writhing with pleasure, which will turn him on.
Help you to relax and enter a highly excited state, thus be able to take his cock deeper into your mouth than you probably thought possible.
Put your arms in submissive positions
Most men love, at least some of the time, for their woman to play the submissive during sex, especially during a blowjob. Most women are highly excited by this as well. Volunteering to move your arms into submissive positions will highly excite most men.
If you’re sucking him while on your knees, then you can put your hands behind your back, as if they’re tied together. Try grabbing each of your own wrists and holding tight. This will also make your back arch and your breasts push out, which always is a visual turn-on for men. Try also grasping your wrists with your hands over your head which is even better for making your back arch and your breasts to push out erotically.
To be even more kinky, take his hands and encourage him hold your wrists. Try having him hold both wrists above your head, pushed against a wall (or better yet a mirror!) Or, depending on how much control you like to give him, you can have him hold both of your wrists with one hand, and grasp the back of your head with the other.
Even better, combine this with pleasuring yourself as described above! Have him pin one of your arms while you finger yourself with the other hand and you’ll be giving him the best of both worlds!
These types of submissive/dominance games only work when your man has a very good understanding of how deep he can go without causing you discomfort.
Hopefully by now you’re also getting the picture that there are nearly an endless combination of things you can do with your hands, and although it’s very difficult to remember them all and flow easily from one to the next throughout your lovemaking, by reading and re-reading this guide, and trying to implement a few new techniques each time you give head, you’ll gradually be able to move effortlessly from one to the next in a way so that you both are never bored.
Run your hands over your body, focusing on your breasts and nipples
It’s just a fact of life that men love to see us moving. Any type of slow dance-like motion is hypnotic to them, so you can slowly play your hand over your body and hair, especially if you find he’s staring at your hands while you’re moving them.
Try using your hands to grasp your breasts in a provocative way, pushing them together to make accent your cleavage, and rubbing/pinching your nipples in the most erotic way you can imagine. Be sure to REACT with your body, breath and voice to your own caresses so that he believes you’re giving yourself pleasure, and what he’s feeling with his cock will be increased. You may be acting at first, but repeating this again and again will make it real over time as you learn to relax and get into it. So just fake it until you make it!
This works especially well in the ultra-sexy blowjob position where you lay on your back with your head hanging off the edge of the back, letting him fuck your mouth (and throat once you develop this talent.) He will be able to see your entire body right in front of him, and will be absolutely thrilled with the show you can put on with your hands and body. Playing with yourself with a vibrator in this position, will be just about the ultimate blowjob you can ever give any man, especially when you can fully deep-throat while doing it. You’ll also find that it’s a lot easier to allow a man to penetrate more deeply when you’re receiving penetrating pleasure from a vibrator or dildo simulteneously…
Use your hands on his body to heighten his pleasure
A whole book could be written on the details about this alone, but I’ll state what should be obvious, which is that he will probably enjoy you lightly (or perhaps firmly) moving your hands on his thighs, stomach, arms, chest, etc.
You can play with his hands while giving head. Try jacking off his forefinger on both hands while you’re sucking him. He may feel like he’s getting three blowjobs at once! Thrill him and show him that you’re full of surprises, and well-studied in the skills of pleasure, and he’ll be much more interested in a loyal and long-term relationship with you.
Lubricate your finger and play very lightly with his “taint”, making forward strokes to encourage his semen to come out.
With even more lubrication, if your finernails aren’t too sharp, you can play with his anus (if he’ll let you) You can really surprise many men with this one and they may discover a whole new erogenous zone. It should of course go without saying that you want to make sure he is very clean before you head this far south!
Play with his balls! If you can get them lubricated, it will be better. Be gentle! Pull and massage them very lightly, again encouraging his cum to come out.
Grab his ass! Play your hands lightly over his cheeks, or use one of both hands to pull his hips toward you as he thrusts into your mouth. He will probably LOVE it if you encourage him to thrust, since thrusting is such a natural urge for men during sex.
Play with and lightly touch HIS nipples. Did you wrongly believe that only women have pleasure centers in their nipples? Many men do too, and many men don’t even know it. You will find that in many cases, you can AWAKEN a man’s nipples to become major pleasure points by repeatedly stimulating them while giving him a blowjob (or any type of sexual pleasure.)
Put your fingers into his mouth and play lightly with his lips. Encourage him to suck your fingers while you’re sucking his cock, imitating what you’re doing. This can be incredible for building intimacy during oral sex, and fun for both partners.
How to master the “O” hand technique
Your man probably has a very particular and unique technique for how he masturbates, as unique to him as his fingerprint. If you can learn to do exactly what he does, it will be much easier for you to give him pleasure with your hands. He probably doesn’t even know what he’s doing, so how can you learn it from him? You can try to watch him do it but you’ll not be able to really understand the subtleties of how and when he’s exerting pressure. So, the trick is to have him demonstrate in slow motion, on YOUR FINGER! Your finger is one of your most sensitive parts of your body, and you’ll be able to feel more exactly what he’s doing. You’re going to be paying very close attention to what he’s doing and then practice on him until he says it’s perfect.
This is what you’re going to be looking for:
Is he PUSHING or PULLING his cock? Many men prefer the friction and pressure that occurs when they make a pushing motion when thrusting into a pussy. The IN-stroke has more pressure than the OUT-stroke. This is VERY important to understand if you want to learn how to mimic his hand technique.
Does he repeat the same motion or change it every so often? For example, he may do several short strokes on the first two inches of his penis (the frenulum) and then one long stroke all the way to the base.
Does he like to use his entire hand, or just an “O”, or a combination of each for variety?
Does it matter which hand? Some men can only make themselves cum with one of their hands and so you should probably use the same hand that they do so it feels more similar.
What SPEED does he like, and does he ramp it up over time, getting faster and faster? Or does he actually slow down as he approaches orgasm?
Does the PRESSURE he’s making increase or decrease as he approaches orgasm?
How lubricated does he want his cock to be? Some men who are less sensitive like it to be a bit stickier, but most want it to be as wet and slippery as possible.
Your goal is to fully understand how to copy his own technique, and then take him BEYOND that, using mouth techniques that he’s probably never experienced, since 99% of women have no idea how to give a truly great blowjob, and most men have of course never experienced it either!
Recap of hand techniques
By now you should be thoroughly convinced that there’s an entire world of fun out there for your hands to indulge in while your giving head. To recap, you should: play with your pussy, play with your nipples and body, push your breasts together to show off your cleavage, move your arms into submissive positions if he likes that, make an “O” and mimic his masturbation motion to help him cum, stroke his balls, play with his nipples, run your hands over his legs, thighs, and chest, have him suck and lick your fingers, play lightly with his taint and anus, play with his hands and stroke his fingers sexually, and grab his ass to encourage him to thrust into your mouth. There are endless combinations of all of these, and it’s a lot to remember. But practice makes perfect, and with your practice you are showing him each night what a delightful and experienced lover you are, giving him the SEXUAL VARIETY that men naturally crave. Most men will not have experienced more than 20-30% of the techniques above, so with these hand-techniques you will be easily convincing him that you are the best he’s ever going to experience.